Revolution
by MidnightRavenFromTheClock
Summary: 'The monsters in my head are scared of love.' Jonathan Morgenstern contemplates what it means to have a sister... and tries to understand the actions of the Shadowhunters during the events of 'Those of Demon Blood'. This is a character study of Sebastian, inspired by the song 'Revolution' by Diplo.


**Inspiration stuck and I just wrote this in like an hour. This is a character study of Sebastian and it was inspired by the song 'Revolution' by Diplo. I've always felt a little sorry for Sebastian in the books, because he never even really had a chance. I mean in the books his mother hated him and assumed he was evil because he didn't cry as a baby and because of his eye color! So I've always wondered how much influence the demon blood actually had on him. In the series he seems so human and that scene he had with Clary... anyway, I hope you'll enjoy.**

' _The monsters in my head are scared of love.'_

Jonathan's sister was an interesting little thing. So passionate, so alive… and so full of raw pain. He was enchanted by her, drawn in such a new and unfamiliar way. There was something about another human being sharing his parentage, his DNA. Maybe, just maybe that put her in the unique position to feel what he felt, to _understand_ him. Jonathan liked that thought, he twirled it around in his head, pondering, wondering.

He wasn't sure how he felt about it when his father first told him. _A sister_. You go your entire life referencing to yourself as an only child, so sure of it, and then one day find out that had been a lie. Just like that, out of nowhere. It seemed surreal.

But his father clearly wasn't affected. Valentine brushed the whole thing off and continued with his plans as if nothing had changed, like it didn't really matter, and Jonathan concluded that that meant it actually didn't. But a part of him, a small one, couldn't help but wonder.

And then his father got arrested, so Jonathan did what he was supposed to do and worked his way into the Institute that was holding Valentine prisoner. It had nothing to do with the girl, really, but then he met her and on that very first day, something happened - they _connected_. It was such a foreign feeling and Jonathan found himself soaking it in.

He wanted to keep her.

So he invited Clary to a date and then felt the harsh wave of rejection when she turned him down. And really, since when did he care about such trivial things? What would his father say if he could see him?

He kept his distance after that, instead following his plan – gaining the trust of the Shadowhunters. Isabelle was the weak link, his way in, he knew that, so he made sure to lure her in. It was almost too easy. And when the Inquisitor appointed Jace as head of the institute, Jonathan decided the Clave was just as insane as he'd been lead to believe. Sure, he was aware of how skilled Jace was, but head of the institute? Jace was too emotional, hot-headed, too desperate for affection. Everything was going exactly how Jonathan had planned.

Until Clary was attacked.

She wasn't supposed to hurt _Clary_.

Really, if Isabelle hadn't killed that Seelie, Jonathan would've done it himself.

He witnessed the scene with the Vampire. At first he'd been disgusted, _what was his sister doing with that creature?_ And then the thing had the audacity to defy the Clave's orders! But then the Inquisitor threatened to arrest him and the Vampire stayed anyway. Jonathan was stumped. Why? Why take the risk? Why choose imprisonment over leaving? The vampire's actions made no logical sense, and yet for a short moment Jonathan wasn't as disgusted anymore.

Later, after everyone left, Jonathan snuck into Clary's room. He stood there, studying her and found that he didn't like seeing the red-head hurt. If she'd died…

He left the room.

Soon Clary woke up, and the first thing she did was demand the Vampire's release. How foolish. But when she challenged the Inquisitor, eyes shining with determination, Jonathan was taken aback by how strong-willed Clary seemed to be.

And it worked. Somehow in the end they all came together and got their way. Jonathan found himself genually surprised.

He wanted to _keep her_.

If only he knew how. He didn't really get to keep things, did he? All his life, everything had always been about who he needed to be, what he needed to do.

He'd never asked for anything, so surely, if he just asked for this one thing, Valentine would understand?

"Had enough of New York, yet?" He heard a voice behind him and stiffened.

Clary was still nursing bruises, but her movements as she joined him on the bench were swift. She flashed a bright smile. Jonathan, of course smiled back. People liked it when he smiled, it put them at ease. "Why would you say that?"

She shrugged. "Where do I begin? Murdered Shadowhunters. A potential Downworld uprising…"

"I'm not that easy to scare away." He answered easily.

"Good." She laughed. Suddenly her face seemed to get more somber. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't upset about the whole dinner thing." She said sheepishly.

"Oh." He blinked. "Not at all."

Her smile lit up her face. "Good, because I liked spending time with you the other day. I'd hate to have screwed it up."

"We did make a pretty good team." He teased.

"We did." She grinned. "It's funny, somehow you understood what I was feeling even when I didn't." She continued softly, all of a sudden her gaze was miles away.

And Jonathan looked into her eyes and saw something he recognized– loneliness. "I'm just glad I could help."

"Me too… Anyway, I should go, but if you ever need anything, I'd be happy to return the favor." She smiled again.

For once a genuine smile graced Jonathan's features as well.

"Goodnight, Sebastian."

"Goodnight, Clary." He replied and watched his little sister walk away.

 _Sebastian._ He liked the way she said it.

Jonathan had never even gotten the right to a real name, having to share it with _Jace_.

But _SebastianSebastianSebastian…_ Maybe he could be a Sebastian, perhaps it could be a start of something new. A change. Could it be that simple?

 **I'm also trying out this Tumblr thing. I'm inwinterhaze, I don't have much up yet, but I'll try to remedy that and I'd love to just chat or something.**


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